What a Thought

in an attempt to stimulate my brain during the work-week i have decided to read a short story and write a little response daily. s.h.s.h.s. and i will be reading the same story on fridays so we can discuss it over friday dinner and also recommend stories from our week. (without contractors around to provide fodder for our nightly phone calls, i'm turning to the stacks...)

and so, without further adieu:
What a Thought
by Shirley Jackson

i can't even tell you how many times i've resisted the strange urge to kiss a stranger.
it isn't that i even sense any attraction. from time to time, mostly when i was working in coffee shops, i'd feel self conscious and hold on the counter, nervous that maybe i could accidentally lean across and plant one on them. similarly, i've had the fear of getting off the phone with just anyone, ending the call with "i love you."those are at least NICE things.
i've also felt compelled to throw my cell-phone off the pier (not because it was annoying.) i've thought about dropping my inhaler out of a high window, flinging a favorite book into a body of water...all sorts of strange impulses. and i know i'm not alone in this. i know i can't be. i haven't wanted to kill anyone, though i have looked someone in the face and thought about insulting them, "thank you, i hate your hair," or "wow, you're a really rude jerk."
it isn't so much that i think these things and that's it, but i used to really be afraid of saying these things. like...not saying them in a way that was intended to be mean, more, in a way that it just happens. fortunately, as of yet, it has not happened. keep up the good work, self.